When You Lose Your Cheerleader

One of the hardest things to comprehend about an extreme loss, especially when you lose a parent, is the loss is bigger than them just not being there. It's a confidence shaker. Why? Think about your parents, and all the times they stood behind you or all the things of yours they came to...they've been your biggest cheerleader and supporter. Now think what a life without that unconditional emotional support is like. One thing I miss so much (although if he was here, he'd drive me nuts about it) is having him be the cheerleader as I venture through unemployment. He would've annoyingly "solved" the problem by pestering all his contacts until one of them hired me to shut him up. He'd be on the sidelines of my life rooting me on to get the job. 

I share all of this to help people who haven't lost immediate family understand more about all the ways the loss affects you. It's physical, and it's emotional in all aspects. It also doesn't matter that he's been gone so many years, in fact the length of his time gone is sometimes harder. All these moments, decisions and life choices made...without my other cheerleader screaming obscenities as he roots on his little girl. Tonight, I really miss him and wish I could hear his voice.