He is Still With Me

Over Easter, I got an amazing gift. Mom had told me a few weeks earlier that there was a present from my dad for my recent engagement, but she did not want to mail it for the fear of it getting lost. While sitting on my old bedroom set bed with my cousin, Megan, and my mom, I opened a present that had been waiting for me for 11 years.

Before my dad passed away he got this present for me for when I got engaged. He wanted so badly to be apart of every important thing in my life, but knew his time was drawing to an end soon. Through my mom's best friend, Laura, and unbeknownst to me or mom, he bought the gift in the picture.

It is the precious moment set called, "Wishing you the perfect choice." It is so perfect since he knew he would not get to meet him, so he wished me the one thing he could, the perfect choice. He got the blond version because he said I was always his blond girl. The little boy figurine is holding a check-marked paper with yes or no, an engagement ring and the girl has a pen. It is so perfect, and amazing to get something from him after he has been gone for so long. It was 11 years in April, and I got this present at Easter. The timing was so perfect since dad was a devout catholic and his faith was so important during the 10 months before he passed. This gift has more meaning than I can begin to say, and it makes me sad and happy all at the same time. I did make a perfect choice, but the most important man in my life will never get to meet him or see where I am now as a woman versus the little girl he left behind.

I miss him everyday, but I again have something that is from him, that he touched and loved , and what is better than that? In my mind the only thing better is if he were here, but I will take something he touched if I cannot have him.

Thanks daddy! I love you and miss you! Love, Your Princess

Facing Death, A Great Interview Brings Peace

(WATCH HERE) This clip is a must watch! I have struggled with my dad's death for 11 years. This interview brought a lot of emotions to the table. I now know what my dad was feeling all those years ago. That longing to see me grow, the need to get "it all in," and the struggle to find peace with death. I know he did the last week of his life, I know because my mom has told me. I cannot remember much of my dad anymore - time is a bitch. It makes you lose your memories. It is good in some ways. It is something I tell people going through loss. Your brain eventually helps you stop remembering the bad details. I don't remember my dad's actual funeral. The only reason I know there was some part of a military ceremony is because the flag sits in mom's office. I don't know what I wore, who was there, what was said - anything. It is a lot of picture memories of that time. This article brings peace to me in that I finally understand a piece of what my dad went through. He wanted to be there, and that is a great feeling, to know that I was really wanted by him. I can tell you that if he were still here today, we would fight like cats and dogs (same stubborn personality), but I never would have felt unloved. I am just in love with this story and interview. It goes to show that you continuously grow through loss. A must share...thank you CNN for this.