Life's A Always Changin'

Well, it has been a while since I last posted anything. If I had known how much my life would change in the past few months, I would not have been able to imagine it. A little over three weeks ago my relationship of almost three years ended. I ran off to Atlanta to help heal my heart. It was something I needed to do to help realize the extent of what had happened.

This relationship was my life...it still kind of is. You don't just stop loving the person overnight. Letting go of the person who has been a part of your biggest learning years is incredibly difficult. Since leaving the nest three and a half years ago I have been on a personal identity journey. Casey was a big part of it. He stood by my side through it all. Learning to leave this chapter behind has been incredibly sad.

I have been in limbo for nearly the last month. Trying to determine where to live, and begin a new journey is, to me, the hardest part. I don't want to start over. It's never fun to start over, and make choices that will ultimately change your life is scary. I am ready to start sharing my journey because I think it will lead me down a path I never expected.

I thought I was getting engaged soon...not so much now. Here I am, 26 and single. I thought my single days were over. I am terrified to be single. I was single most of my life, and always the third wheel with my friends. I guess I am back to that point again, tear.

After going to the doctor today, I couldn't hide the true feelings. She could see right through my facade. She could see the depression I was trying to hide. I am sad that it was written all over my face...I thought I was doing so well.

As I am going through this I have started to read two books to help me through this. "Eat. Pray. Love" and "A Grace Disguised." What I have learned are two important things...I am definitely in the eating phase. Food is very comforting. I am comfortable admitting that this is the phase I am in. Cheers to it! The second lesson "loss is loss." It's ok to grieve, and for now that's what I am doing.

More to come on my new journey...